Follow me some more...

Just thought I would send you all a final blog with details of my new blog which is all about me, my friends and family and, of course, my photographs. So please follow me for a little bit longer.

Here is the first picture of me on here! This is me; very drunk after thieving a hat from a stranger taken by Wifey. Accidentally Zoro esq.

Day Ninety Nine & A Hundred - 100 day come down

Last two days *queue Sinatra's 'My Way'* there are not huge good deeds...

• Wednesday - Feeling ever so glib about missing the 100 days exhibit I arranged to see Wifey who was equally out of sorts. Both of us being completely indecisive and flappy we randomly decided that a spontaneous bout of bowling would do the trick. After pre warning each other that we were both massively shit at the sport, we both surprised each other by playing quite well. We deduced that together we were good so perhaps we should start a league. So today's good deed was cheering up Wifey and blessing the world with a new, very small, bowling league.

• Thursday - The last day. The last good deed. Looking after Geoff for Mum again. Particularly bad today, the worst I have seen in a long time. Poor Mum crying and Geoff asking if we can let him kill himself. I am sure he'll be alright by next week, but I wish I could do more for my lovely Mother. Possibly the most incredible woman who ever did exist.

So my last photo I leave you with is of my Mother. Leading Geoff down the old temporary ramp pissing her self with laughter as she had armed him with her umbrella hat, a broom and some scissors to protect him from the rain and foliage. I love this photo.

Days Ninety Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven & Eight - big catch up, sulking that I can't make the exhibit :(

Sorry everyone, a mixture of being busy and sulking has left me behind right up til the end...

• Thursday - Short day at Uni. Handed in the card for Mo as my good deed, poor Mo. We all met in the library and came to the conclusion that non of us had done any research for our debate and that we were basically screwed. Eliza then picked me up so that we could meet the electrician then laze around in the garden basking in the sunshine and the imagery of how it will look when it's done.... sigh.
• Friday - A good day at Uni-tard, although I struggle muchly with one of the women in my study skills class I was very refined. Elisha and I swooped round the Uni bar asking people to fill out questionnaire's and be filmed whilst we ask them questions. My good deed for the day... Scatter knowledge of STD's to the students of Derby. It amazes me how little people know about STD's and the contraception that is out there. 95% of them said they could never talk to their parents about it, how very sad. My parents gave me detailed information whether I wanted it or not. It stuck though, clean as a whistle - always used a condom!
• Saturday - hiked to work feeling a little grogsome after a nights heavy drinking with Wifey and Lobster at their work do pretending to be a member of staff. Work was good, I do like it there. My good deed, helping a woman who wanted all her work framing wanting guidence and confidence. She used to paint and draw all the time then something awful happened and she just stopped. In the last year she started again and it's made her feel better, she thought it very good that I was training to be an art therapist as she felt it was the best medicine for her. Her confidence was obviously very tender - but her work was incredible. Homeward bound after work where I spent my time horizontal on the sofa feeling smug about the size of my telly and the reducing size of my arse.
• Sunday - Due to the beautiful weather today I cleared the studio and garden. It was so nice with the sun blazing and Radio 4 purring gently out of my little wind up radio, summer is coming, I can feel it in all that water i'm retaining. My good deed was get my friends a job doing my garden, my landy lord was going to ask someone he knew but I pursuaded him to let me use my friends. It's partially shelfish as I prefer to have people I know scrunting about in my garden.
• Monday - Woke up massively early today. Decided i'd head in early to Uni tard, which was very handy as I had forgotten that I had a meeting about my degree. My good deed is deferring my degree for a year, so that I can help Mum more. I can earn more money to help pay for respite care for Geoff so Mum can have time alone in the house, and as I won't have Uni I can go to hers more often and care for him so maybe she can go swimming again, or just sleep.
• Tuesday - Beautiful day; mooched into town to meet Aimee and the little Potato. My good deed for the day is a free photo shoot for her of the beautiful potato. She's exhausted and really enjoyed the time with him. My photo for today is of them.

Day Ninety, Ninety One and Ninety Two - Due to power failure at home I'm stealing tintyweb

I was really getting into the swing of writing these on time and then all my electrics went poof so I had no tinty web... woe is me. Here are my days:

• Monday - Long day at Unitard, generally enjoyed it aside from the shrill girl in psychology who is only 19 and you can tell was the head bully at school. I hurried homo as my Tall friend and I had jolly plans for the eventide so I wanted to hose myself down in the garden and swing the cats around by their tails. When I got home I noticed the trip switch had gone and every time I tried to turn it on it went again. After using all my man brain I could muster I deduced it was the old wiring which was setting it off (only my kitchen has been rewired, one wall of my kitchen has more plugs then the rest of the entire house) so felt very grumbly and sorry for myself as this meant no TV, phone or tinty web :( I then felt very glad that I was going out. My Tall friend picked me up and we headed to Quode where we threw food at ourselves (and got to see Wifey, always a tummy squeezing pleasure) and by chance bumping into Pinty! Who arrived with a tall serious gentleman, not entirely sure what he had made of us as we were proudly showing some art of a quizzical French gent we had mastered out of the remnants of our dinner. We then watched the film; Micmacs, made by Jeunet - one of my favourite directors ever (proud creater of both Amelie and Delicatessen) Absolutely LOVED it. Set in a junk yard where they live and invent stuff which was my dream as a child. I grinned throughout. My tall friend dropped me hope and the cats and I looked at each other sadly. Shortly after there was a knock at the door and My Tall Friends face was smurched against the mottled glass, feeling sorry for me in my cold dark house he'd returned to bring me back to his so I could get a warm nights sleep. After drinking some fine wine and rolling around on the floor with Minky I nosed dived into Lettuce's bed (taking full advantage in her abcsence) I am lucky with my mates.... Oh yes, my good deed. I gave directions to some new lost souls at Unitard, I sense I look the least scary out of everyone there, mainly as I look like that weird creature who lives in the junk yard at the end of Labrynth.
• Tuesday- Woke at My Tall Friends and scootched downstair for a cup of tea with Minky and a quick eel mail check before throwing tes at my Tall Friend before he took me home. After much sadness and a cluster of small strops in the kitchen about not having internet I decided to take it out on the garden which had been massively neglected since I left Eyebrows. I had always done the gardening but when I had to leave for a month it got out of hand and he'd accidently broken the strimmer. I got loads done though. My good deed was ringing round many, many electricians to try and find the cheapest option for my landlord. People say I should just leave him to it no matter how much it costs, but I have a fantastic landlord and I have lived here for nine years, I think he definitely deserves a good deed, he's a bloody good chap. Looks like the whole house will need re-wiring, bar the kitchen. I discovered that if I dragged an extension through from the kitchen I could get the tintyweb back so I could fall asleep to 4od, so it ain't that bad really.                Here's the garden, believe it or not; this is after I had been working on it for 4 hours.. pity you wont get to see the finished product, 100 days are nearly up :(

•  Wednesday - Woke up feeling more comfortable then I had in ages. Due to me having an un scheduled night away all of the cats slept on top of me last night and it was actually one of the best nights sleeps i'd had in a long time, perhaps it's their purring. I got up and tidied up all the kitchen as it was covered in garden from the previous days thrashing about outdoors. I strode off to Uni tard and bounded up to Sam and Lee with my coffee and copy of the Independant and we all sat together being old and repugnant until we hunkered up to Literature. We discovered that poor old Mo's husband had died yesterday, as you may remember she used to talk to me about him when it got too much. We don't know when she'll be back in again, so I made her a card which  I'm going to put in her office in the morning, poor Mo. After that we had Maths which was, as ever, brilliant fun. With just the four of us including Professor Wheeto. After which Berty kindly picked me up as she's off work. We loitered around the Shire as Geoff was seeing a therapist for the first time then we headed to Mum's. My good deed, helping Mum again by sorting the house, cleaning, cooking and looking after Geoff. Wish I lived closer, I really enjoy it and spending time with my idiosyncratic and utterly amazing Mother is one of my favourite things in the world. All good at Mum's, Geoff's got a new bedroom and bathroom, it's well swanky, and a new wheel chair, I did point out it was a little Stephen Hawkings esq but letting Mum and I on it with the glitter glue and neon boob lights and bob's your uncle (fanny's your aunt)                   Found an old photo of Geoff in the 80's, I'm the toothless beauty perched on his shoulder. He has always sported that 70's hair cut, even now. His hair dresser did threaten something more modern when he came to do his hair in hospital pointing out he couldn't escape, but he didn't... I would've

         

Day Eighty Nine - Sorry, helping out a friend again...

Last night I was chatting to an old friend, Dannii, who sounded massively depressed. I felt awful as we used to talk every day but in the last 6 months both of us have been massively busy. The thing is, where I have been more of a sociable bird he's always been a bit of a loner. Strange really, he's one of the kindest people you could know; once he lets his guard down, but you do have to chip away at him for a good year. Because of this he doesn't talk to many people and I felt awful that I hadn't thought more about how he was and made more of an effort.

I was woken this morning (my only day I can lie in) by a text message at 8am. After swearing and flinging cats about and generally acting like I was having a drunken brawl with an invisible goose I discovered my phone. A text from Dannii. Just wanting to know if I was free today. I decided to try and get that extra hour of sleep and then I text him after. This was the day I had been looking forward to for quite some time:

A planned day alone. This differs from the accidental day alone as you always feel a little flouncy and spend a lot of the day exhaling through your teeth and swinging your arms. Planned days alone are brilliant, usually occur after being very busy and when you have done all the jobs you wanted to get done. Casual, calling people to chat for hours, reading The Independant on Sunday, walking around Sainsbury's long enough to do a fantasy shop then put all the stuff back again (when you rush the shop, you buy the fantasy stuff) watch a foreign film and, in my case today, sort out your packed lunch for Uni all week making it interesting and healthy so you don't get bored and slide under the sneeze guard at Upper Crust hoovering up the baguettes. Ahhhhhh...

I decided to simply say 'Yes' to Dannii. Made sure the house was extra clean as he was one of those ludicrously tidy people. His old house with his ex boyfriend always looked like Ikea; they even used to fan their magazines! I'd perch on their sofa PETRIFIED I'd spill something on their beige furniture, and the flat would always be boiling. I remember one summer they had the heating on the whole night and I spent the majority of that night lying on the floor of their metal balcony sizzling like bacon... I digress...

I made sure the house was clean and I even put the heating on. Usually I scrunt about the house wearing everything I own getting wedged in doorways and struggling to tie my shoes. Not today! Sadly after all my effort he text to cancel. I tried to call him, then had a chat with him via text trying to get to the route of his blues. I shall hopefully see him over the next few weeks, we are both free at inconvenient times, we'll snort it next time.

It was no loss though as I got plenty of cleaning done and let an old friend know I was still here for him. I shall now drink a glass of wine and watch True Blood on a 50 inch screen, ooh yeah.

Some snow melting for you all. This was when I fell off one step and tore the ligaments in my left foot and right knee so staggered about my Dad's house like Egor. I couldn't go out and play in the snow so felt very sorry for myself a little then made Ultimate pies in the Aga and took photos through the windows.

Day Eighty Eight - Aiding more friends

I am aware that a lot of my good deeds have been for my friends or family, I assure you this isn't a cop out, I just have a very good friend and family network so we're always leaping to each others aid.

Had a very early night last night so once I had woken and eaten last nights dinner for breakfast I launched into town through the rain and trying to slalom between inconsiderate bastards and 8am drunks. I had to make a mad dash to the Book Cafe for an emergency latrine stop then felt obliged to buy a book. I ended up buy a de stressing book for Geoff and a book for me, a photography book. I didn't really look at it until my lunch break and actually loved it, facinating; I was hunkered in the corner amongst the photograph mounts 'oooohing' over the history of our late great monarch Ol' Victoria and getting my nose right into the bizare shots of Hitler. God I love History and photographs. An absolute corker of Marylin Munroe a few weeks before she died, I was a right squarking mess!

Bean was a little stressed about snorting a present for our friend Johnny, so I offered to take the stress from her and snort it out for her. Got an hilarious photo pf the pair of them at a fancy dress shindig years ago and framed, mounted and glazed it for her, and got it at a tasty discount to. So that was my first deed, and The Bean was very happy with that.

Second good deed was meeting Bear for a drink. She really needed a friend so I did my up most to support her. After which I hunkered home in the rain. Now I sit here with a lovely glass of chilled wine feeling genuinely giddy about having an evening alone. Made the un wise choice of watching 'Embarrassing Bodies' first so am now going to watch a small wadge of 'Qi' before moving onto some sexy 'True Blood' to get the visuals of a very hairy gents piles loitering with his prolapsing anal passage. Yum.

Here is a photo of Dovedale I took last summer from within the toilets looking out. I chose this as I was with my a fore mentioned friend Bean when I took this (well I was waiting for her whilst she was thrashing about in the toilet cubicle)

Day Eighty Two, Three, Four, Five, Six and Seven - Another cluster for you all

Sorry again, Very busy week this week as my old friend came to stay so didn't get a chance to sit down to Atticus. So I shall do some speed blogging:

• Sunday - A deed for me again. This was not in a selfish half arsed fashion; I just decided to spend the day snorting out the whole house and finally doing the hardcore cat poo sweep. Almost gassed myself with the excess of bleach in the small gaps betwixt the telly and wall and the sofa and the fire place. Poo free house though, and it smells nice.
• Monday - Introduced my good friends to one another. Baby Bear came to stay, winging her way all the way from her pub in Norfolk so my Tall Friend popped over to meet her. I decided that we should all mooch to the local for a drink or two before heading back to mine for home cooked steak and more wine. Seven bottles of wine later; both my friends shivering under blankets and laughing I felt I'd been successful.
• Tuesday - Introduced more good friends. Feeling a little hungover, Baby Bear and I slunk into town and met Wifey and Lobster for a hot chocolate (well, they had a hot chocolate and we drank lots of water) we then went for lunch then pottered about town where Baby Bear could try various drinks possible for selling in her pub.
• Wednesday - Waved off old friend. Baby Bear was very blue to be going home. I sat with her trying to cheer her up at the train station then waved her off in a Sound Of Music esq exit before cantering home through the dimming Derby skies.
• Thursday - Made time for a date with another old friend. Brown Bunny had requested an evening out with me months ago and we had set a date for this very day. I dyed her hair first as she was aware of her gray hairs emerging. Then I styled it, cooked her some nice foods before we strode off into the night through scary Normanton to the pub. We had a nice time boozing and saw many, many excrement's of human behavior were staggering about shrieking, showing their under pants and threatening you with booze breath.
• Friday - Introduced Tall Friend to my studio. Got up and had a bit of a tidy before being picked up by my Tall friend for a bolshy game of badminton. Shared the courts with a small group of eldery people playing boules. Must have been rather strange for them to witness a 8 foot laughing man pelting a 5 foot pair of boobs with many shuttle cocks; bringing the standard of the place down evidently. We then nipped home for a shower and general scrape down before heading to the studio. My Tall Friend sniffed round all the lights and licked the trigger before spraying his scent and booking it for a fortnights time. Glad I was able to help. Early night tonight. Have got to get up early to head to the studio in't early hours. Pfffft.

 One of my Dad's Cockerel's giving me a menacing stair, I took this through the safety of the glass in the utility room door...