Thursday, 31 December 2009

Day Twenty Nine - Robot Television

I remember when I bought my telly. I was 17 and it was one of the first things I had ever bought myself when living on my own. I had walked around the shop for a little while, soaking in each one to decide which one was for me. I had never really had money to buy something so big before and I had been living on my own for a while. Sat in between a lot of the fancier screens was this little fat television. It looked a little like a robot, a bit ugly. I liked it. I stood and looked at it for a while then noticed it had a little embossed picture on the back, of a little cat. I was sold, and so was the television.

About a month ago I decided to get rid of the TV in my bedroom. There was only one in there from when I was married as Eyebrow's used to play computer games till all hours and work shifts so it meant there was always a room he could play games in. Since I left him I had no use for it, as I only ever slept in my room, and sometimes watched a film on Atticus. So even though the spare telly was a lot bigger then my little robot telly (and my tall friend called me a fool for keeping the robot) I got rid of the spare on Freecycle.

Two days later my little Robot telly started to sulk. After I had turned him on and sat down to watch which ever program was on the tellybox and got a cat on my knee he'd go "poough" and turn off. He started to do this quite sporadically, which was infuriating as it wouldn't happen at all, then it was happen 14 times in a hour. I spoke quite sternly to my robot telly; pointing out that I had defended him when my tall friend had deemed him too small, square shaped and looking a little like a cartoon rocket. That I had chosen to stay loyal to my robot telly even though he didn't really go with the rest of my front room, which is mainly old oak furniture, and had an ugly wax stain on the top from when a candle melted onto it. It would seem that talking about getting a new top of the range tv had upset him, and he was going to act out, completely at random.

He had been fine for days, not turning off once. The I noticed that someone two streets down had a TV going, so I requested it and they kindly said they were going to deliver it to me. I figured I could have this new one ready (and hidden so my TV couldn't see it) so when my, not so faithful, robot telly did die, I would have back up. As soon as the other TV was in my house, robot telly started to go "pouuugh!" but with more gusto then ever before. Wouldn't even stay on a whole minute. I warned him that his time was limited and if he'd only behave he could stay living here with me. It was too late, I had offended him by even conceiving of a replacement, so he killed himself. I took him out to the front driveway to the same fate of every object that has left my house. The twighlight zone, the black hole where things just disappear over night. Some kind of sacrificial plane (although it did take a while for the Yellow Fridge to go) I carried him out the front and told him he had only brought this on himself.

I then went about my day and fitted the new (old) Tv. He is equally as square and small but he doesn't go "pouuugh" so that is handy. But he is a little boring to look at. I'd like him to do something interesting, maybily in door fireworks? Or perhaps some good comedy impressions?

Saw Brown Bunny briefly and we had a shlomp round Sainsbugs eyeing up the sales. Nothing really gripped me. My good deed was again simple, I let someone go in front of me in the queue. Only small but I can't save lives everyday. C'est impossible!

Tall friend picked me up and we spent the evening drinking wine and watching a mixture of heart wrenchingly upsetting and thigh slappingly funny television. Followed by one of the best nights sleep i'd had in a long time. Spent the morning reading in the Kitchen with Minky before my tall friend took me home. When I got there my robot telly was gone. Goodbye old friend, if only you had not got so sulky....

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